


Private Fears In Public Places

by itsourvelocity



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, Alternate Universe, Angst, Choi Youngjae-centric, GOT7 - Freeform, Kinda, M/M, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sexual Content, Songfic, not really but kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 16:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13103823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsourvelocity/pseuds/itsourvelocity
Summary: "I am living for your touch, but I would die to be your man"In which Youngjae is so completely and utterly in love, he would do anything for him.





	Private Fears In Public Places

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Private Fears In Public Places by the Front Porch Steps.

_So cold is the wind that blows your hair_  
_So warm is your touch upon my skin_  
_How tired am I of being scared_  
_But how awake am I now that I know you're here_

He glanced at the taller man walking beside him, briefly admiring his side profile before returning his gaze to his feet. No words were exchanged, just the sound of the bustling streets around them. The silence between them wasn't awkward as one might expect yet Youngjae still felt nervous in the presence of Jaebum. Nervous because he was so infatuated with the brunette. They had known each other for so long and had become best friends so easily that Youngjae couldn't imagine a life without him, no matter now hard he tried. Admittedly, they were a rather unlikely duo: Jaebum with his intimidating exterior and somewhat unforthcoming demeanour and Youngjae with his sunny disposition and soft, friendly appearance. However, they had a surprising amount in common, ranging from their dislike of certain people to their passion for music. And anyway, Jaebum's manner is what attracted Youngjae in the first place. There was something about the way he held himself that was so alluring to him way back then. Of course he now knows that there is a lot more to that outward air, in fact Jaebum is actually rather adorable in Youngjae's opinion, but in the past the hoops in his ears and leather jackets just screamed "Test me, bitch," completely different from him, who had a laugh so loud it echoed and a very wide smile.

Youngjae was so caught up in his thoughts whilst staring at his feet moving along the pavement he didn't notice the lamppost he was getting closer and closer to, until he felt a warm arm wrap around his waist and pull him sideways. His side was now flush against Jaebum's as he lead him away from the lamppost and a deep chuckle sounded by his ear. He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks as they no doubt grew pink as he muttered a soft thank you to him. His skin was burning where Jaebum's arm was still wrapped around his waist and he began to melt into his touch. Although as soon as he allowed himself to relax, the arm wrapped snugly around him removed itself and the gap between them increased. Youngjae pretended he didn't miss his warmth.

 _'Cause I'd rather fight with you than laugh with another_  
_I'd rather freeze in your arms than be warm under covers_  
_And I'd let you hit me before I ever let you hit the floor_  
_And I'd rather choke than to breathe in your absence_  
_I'd rather feel your wrath than feel another's passion_  
_And I'd rather die on the day that I give you a kiss_  
_Than spend the rest of my life knowing I never did_

He longed for every single thing that came with a relationship. The love, the kisses, the dates, the sex, the sense of security and even the arguments. He would do anything for Jaebum and although he knew that it probably wasn't that healthy, he really didn't care that much. After all he was in love. He knew what Jaebum was like. He knew that he could be acting incredibly cute one second and then you'd blink and his temper would be flaring up again. There had been many heated arguments between them during the course of their friendship, mostly Jaebum overreacting and then Youngjae being petty in return, leading to slammed doors and sometimes even bruised knuckles matched with dents in walls but always ending in hugs and whispered apologies. He knew and yet he wanted more. He wanted arguments caused by one of them being jealous. He wanted passionate, possessive, angry sex. He wanted make up cuddles and apologies that are felt and not spoken. He wanted everything.

Overall, he wanted Jaebum's love.  
  
_So just hold me and tell me that I'm everything you need_  
_Tell me that that lonely little heart of yours_  
_That I've been dying for ain't out of reach_  
  
_So if you're looking for some proof that there's a heart inside of me_  
_Then lace your fingers between mine, and you would see it start to leak_  
_And I know you're not a crutch, but I can hold you when I stand_  
_'cause I am living for your touch, but I would die to be your man_  
  
_Let me look into your eyes like I am searching for your soul_  
_Wrap my arms around your waist like it is dying from the cold_  
_Run my fingers through your hair like they are water from the drain_  
_Press my lips against your back like they could take away it's pain_  
_And to give you everything there is nothing I won't do_  
_Dump my heart into a blender just to pour it out to you_  
_And I know you're feeling tired just let me hold you for a bit  
__Dive my face between you thighs until I cannot feel my lips so_

 At night he lies in his bed, alone and thinking. He tries to imagine what it would feel to lay his head on a strong chest, to have arms strongly wrapped around him, loving him and protecting him from the dangers lurking in the dark corners of the world. And just as much, he wanted to know what it felt like to have legs intertwined with his and a broad back to nuzzle his cheek into as he slings an arm around a firm waist. He wants to know how it feels to be completely enveloped in his scent and feel his breath softly hitting his skin.

 

 

 

He can't bring himself to date anyone else, and heaven knows he has tried, as he finds himself comparing every one of his potential partners to _him_ and no one comes close to Jaebum. He can't even hook up without thinking about Jaebum and has now stopped going to bars and bringing home strangers in case he finds himself crying out Jaebum's name accidentally. Instead he closes his eyes as he works his fingers inside of him, letting out whimpers and whines of " _Ah, hyung!_ " and sometimes Jaebum's name if he's feeling particularly needy.

_Well I know that you think I'm kind if odd_  
_But if your love was a mountain I swear that I'd climb to the top_  
_I would tell you you're lovely and everything I'll ever need_  
_And I would give you my all if you'd just come and stand next to me_

He wonders if Jaebum's noticed how Youngjae freezes up at his touch, or blushes at the slightest compliment (no matter how generic). He must have done. It's painfully obvious how badly Youngjae pines after him sometimes. But he can't help it.

He loves Jaebum. And he'd rather die on the day he kissed him, then live a life not knowing how he tastes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, feedback is hugely appreciated!


End file.
